Poo narratives are nothing new, but this dame right here had an emotional roller coaster, the likes of which I don’t think I have heard before.
The story was originally told to Buzzfeed by a lady refereed to as Carol. Prepare yourself, this is about to get heavy.
“It was my freshman year of college, and my antibiotics were wreaking havoc on my digestive system .
I knew I was going to be seeing a certain guy at a party, so I wore my tightest skirt and probably drank a little more than was advisable.”
Yep, she decided it was worth health risks. And it was, kind of. Things patently went well because she objective up heading back to the guy’s dorm .
“He had a top bunk, which required some maneuvering to get to, but we aimed up stimulating it up there and ** hanging out **. Due to my barely-contained gastrointestinal distress, I kept everything above the waist, for fear of losing my already-precarious control over my intestinal muscles.”
OK, so she’s had a bit of fun, but, considering her stomach situation , now would be the perfect period for her to leave, right? Well, yes it would have been, but the guy invited Carol to stay over, and for some reason she said yes. WHY CAROL, WHY ? getty
“I had such a bad stomach ache that I couldnt fall asleep. I decided that it was impossible to get down and back up to the bunk bed without waking up both him and his roommate, soWhen I was sure he was asleep, around 3 a.m ., I very carefully parted my butt cheeks to release the most silent fart possible, but liquid hell came out.Im talking, like, that first splatter when you have diarrhea and you make it to the lavatory and mind sitting down and it just lets loose.””
“I panicked. I could feel my skirt and underwear scarcely holding the mess in( thank GOD I wore such a tight skirt it was instrumental in keeping this mess from falling out ). ”
Eek. Things aren’t looking so hot for Carol right now. Get out of there woman, run for the hills. That’s probably what she was planning but as luck would have it, the son woke up. Yep, right after she pooped herself .
“In my poop-induced panic, I dedicated him a hand job to confuse him.I was as red as a beet from the embarrassment of having actually given a hand job as my big solution to this issue, and I needed to extract myself as soon as I could.”
It actually has a happy objective. Well, about as happy as this story can get .
“I walked home, across campus, with liquid shit running down my legs and then I realized I left my keys at his place.Thankfully, my RA was awake and let me into the dorm, in all of my diarrhea-soaked splendor.”
“Needless to say, I havent eaten alcohol while on antibiotics since.I ended up dating the guy for almost three years after this happened.And I found out a year ago that he had NO idea I liquid-shat myself in his bed that first night. He fondly recollected the hand job, though”
H/ T: Buzzfeed